Utopia possible intro

< gredi >
The storm outside had gotten worse, and inside it wasn't much better. She hated working at the morgue, but hey, it was a solid job in this town. Getting new customers everyday was a sad but true aspect of life here, where the only thing more crooked than the criminals were the authorities. People came to the city with hopes of controlling it. Once here they were shocked to see the city controlled them. Each person another cog, another gear, they were all parts of a machine. A machine that was called Utopia.

< primus >
She had gotten this job from her father, the old coroner. It didn't matter that she didn't have an education, they weren't necessary in this place anyways. Education didn't matter, and the only people that went to college were the rich spoiled kids who just wanted a wall decoration. And besides, it wasn't hard to graduate when the professors were on your daddy's payroll. In this place what mattered was who you knew, not what you knew. What you were capable, not what you achieved. The things you owned, owned you too, and there wasn't anything anyone could do about it. However, one day she met him. And their lives would be changed forever.

It happened that she was called out for a homicide near the outskirts of town, almost to the boundaries of Utopia. She was almost sorry for the poor girl she found at the diner. That is when she found the head and saw the look of terror in the girl's eyes. She was able to piece the body back together after going over the diner with a fine search. There wasn't much effort given to see why things had happened. In Utopia, you just didn't ask questions. Sure they informed the loved ones of their loss, when they could identify the body, but funerals around here didn't involve any crying or sharing stories. People had grown callous to death, and even more callous to letting emotions show. Nothing was done based on emotion here, only logic. The irony is that it was logic that brought emotion to Utopia.

"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Chapter Five

Bobby hit the game start button and began firing away, thumbs twitching furiously. When all was done Bobby ship crashed at only 981, 427 points. I had won, although I didn't feel like a winner. The arcade was silent until Ed spoke up.
"Rico wins!"
The crowd burst out in applause and cheers, although not as loud as I would have expected. Jose's absence from the competition probably had something to do with that.
"I'm gonna kill that little flyboy!" Bobby was foaming to get revenge on me.
"Come on man, its just a game," Jimmy pleaded.
Bobby shoved him out of the way and began to come towards Ed and I. We took the opportunity to shuffle off through the arcade door, hoping the mob would hold them back at least for a little time. We jumped the curb and ran towards the nearest alley. I could hear Bobby yelling for Jose and Jimmy to catch up. Looking over my shoulder, I could see Bobby and Miguel in hot pursuit.
I led Ed in and out an intricate weave between fencless houses. Suddenly, I spotted it. The black porsche. We quickly went over and hid by it.
The house door opened and we quickly ducked down. A man wearing a red and black striped business suit came out of the house. He had very long, mangy hair and a flowing, bristling goatee. He was just in time to thwart our would be capturers.
"Can I help you boys?" His accent was thick and it was like nothing I had ever heard.
"Oh...yeah. We're looking for two of our friends.
The strange man looked over at us, and then back to Bobby and company.
"Haven't seen them, sorry."
Miguel glanced over to our hiding spot and then replied, "sorry sir, thanks for all your help." We could hear Bobby muttering to himself and whining to Miguel about how they had us cornered.
The man turned to us and simply said, "go." We got up and ran away back to the comfort of my house.
"That was close, Rico."
"You're telling me Ed! Who was that guy?"
"I don't know," Ed spat out before gulping in more air, still trying to settle the lungs.
"Why do you suppose he helped us?"
"I don't know Ed. I don't know. At least I won the competition at the arcade. Too bad I couldn't have played Jose, but that's life. He would have killed me anyway!"
"Yeah, Rico, at least you didn't have to use the knife," Ed stated.
The knife! I had forgotten about it! Where did I leave it? The arcade? They alley? There was only one way to find out, and I wasn't going out there now--especially with the gang after us.

And elsewhere in town, a strange man in a strange suit was holding a very strange knife, intended for a strange mission.

"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Chapter Four

The next day on the way to the arcade, Ed and I were walking and discussing the final steps to our plan.
"I can't believe you thought I was going to cut his hand off Ed!"
"Well, the way you were going on and on about that knife, who knew? It only seemed to make sense. But anyway, go on about the plan one more time."
I rolled my eyes. "Okay Ed, I told you, you hit the lights, and I'll go over and cut the power cord."
"Why not just pull it out Rico?"
I smacked my head in frustration. "If we do that, then they can just plug it back in you idiot!"
Ed nodded to me in understanding. We were outside the arcade.
"Rico, you got the knife? Better hope they don't make you pay for the machine..."
"Don't worry, what could go wrong?" I trailed off as a shiny new black Porsche slowly slinked by. It darkened tint windows reflected the neighborhood back to us.
"Wow, what a car," Ed exclaimed.
"Focus Ed. Let's do it."

The door opened and the atmosphere was electric. Kids packed the arcade, as if it were the Super Bowl. When I walked in, the mob began to shout, "Rico! Rico! Rico!"
I looked to the left and to the right, but Jose and his posse were no where to be seen. Perhaps he had ducked me after all.
"Where is Jose?" I stated to no one in particular.
A little kid came up and explained that no one had seen him.
"You mean I win?" My hopes were rising.
"Not exactly." I strained to see where the voice was coming from. Jimmy stepped through the crowd and the kids silenced.
"Even if Jose doesn't show, you still have to play. It uh, says so in the code."
"What code?" I shot back.
"The Code of the Arcade," someone shot back.
I had never heard of it, but it sounded logical. "Okay fine, let me go then. If I play and he doesn't show, I win."
"Agreed," Jimmy responded.
My quarter went in, and in a few minutes I was done. 1, 181, 930. Not my best, but certainly not my worst either.
"There I win!"
Seeing as there was no one to oppose me, I raised my arms high into the air with victory.
As if in a movie, the door flew open and the people parted like the Red Sea. Bobby walked in, followed by Miguel and Jose. Someone suddenly shouted "Hey, Jose's got a broken arm!"
The news spread like wildfire. It was true. Jose Morales stood looking demoralized, his head down to the ground. My world was blown apart. The idea of cheating left my mind and I could only find myself feeling sorry for Jose.
"What happened Jose?" I asked genuinely.
"Skateboard accident," he said, short and sweet.
Miguel spoke up next. "Seeing as Jose was supposed to play you, and he obviously can't, Bobby will take his place. That okay with you Rico?"
I thought about it for a moment before replying "Sure...if that 's okay with Jose, I mean."
"Of courese it is, right Jose?" Bobby interjected.
"Su-sure." Jose meekly mumbled. I looked at him kind of funny and he quickly looked down to the ground again.
"If that's what he wants," I repsonded.
Bobby made his way to the Blasteroidz machine.

"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Author's Commentary

Welcome to what will be the first of several commentaries that I will use to keep myself updated after such a long break between chapters as well as provide some insight as to how I decided to work on the story at hand.

This one started as a ten minute exercise one day while in school. Now that three chapters are done, I had to decide if this was going to be a longer piece of fiction or a shorter one. I've thought out the story in my head, and I can see it being ten to twelve chapters total in length. I know where the plot it going as well as what will happen to Rico, Ed, Jose, and Bobby. The other characters are at this point only there to support them. But you never know, a story is a living, breathing thing, in that it usually takes on a life of its own.

I'm trying to "dumb-down" the vocabulary in this story as it were, in that I'm imagining this story being read by a fifth to seventh grade student. The language, while colorful, is never meant to be offensive. The setting is some urban-sprawl with a mixture of white and Latino population. The character of Jose Morales is to provide a foe, or a antagonist as it were to the main character Richard "Rico" Waters. Eddie "Ed" Tremain is the typical best friend for our trusty hero. The person he can talk to and know not to tell others. In sharp contrast to this is the character of his mother. He knows he can trust her with any information he gives her--at least to listen. She will probably say the worst thing at the worst time, as all children feel their parents do. Still, she is his lone guiding figure in the book...At least at this point. The other character of Bobby provides a bit of a clash in that he is the black kid hanging out with the largely Latino population. Richard is the "token white guy", while Bobby is the "token black guy". Yes, bling, bling and all that crap. The character of Jimmy-the-tag-along is there to provide a simple role, the smart alec sidekick, that every big enemy seems to have. Miguel Phillips is a character that will unravel in time.

You may also notice that the story itself is no longer called "One Sitting Story", as I felt it had moved beyond that title. It is now moving onward, and observing the plot, which seems to have three basic part...possibly four, and thinking out the overall ending as it is in my head right now, I decided upon the name "A Loss in the Neighborhood" which was vague enough to make you wonder what it pertains to, yet allows for the larger symbolic meeting.

I hope someone keeps reading...if they do, I'll keep writing. Ah, hell. I'll probably finish it even if no one does read this. My main problem with a story is not knowing what happens in the middle, while in this case I actually have a pretty fluid story going in my head with no real holes.

Until next time,

Cody

"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Chapter Three

Ed made it down to my house around eight pm. Much to my horror while he was making his way over, I found out my mother didn't mean she was serving us ice cream. We were walking there...Together. Sigh.
We were about six blocks from Mr. Dipper's Ice Cream Shack when I finally spoke to Ed.
"You hear?"
""Yeah." Ed looked at me. You don't have a prayer. Look don't get me wrong, I"m on your side, but you gotta save face man, just think what would happen to your already weak reputation!"
I punched him on the shoulder. "What do you mean already weak reputation? When have I ever not done what I said I was going to."
Ed stopped walking, while my mother continued on.
"Well, there was that one time you said you'd jump off the roof last winter and you didn't." I looked at him. "And then you said you'd ride your bike off the ramp we made a couple of months ago and you didn't, but I told everyone you did. And the one time--"
"Okay, I get the point! Geez, Ed." We started walking again.
The problem with having a best friend, was that they knew all about you, even the little things that you didn't want to remember.
"I see your point. Well I did have a plan...if all else fails I did have a back up. Crap."
We were approaching the Ice Cream Shack, and there in front of us were four boys on skateboards. There was Miguel Phillips, Jimmy what's-his face from the Arcade, a large black kid I didn't know and in the front...Jose Morales.
I tried my best to not be noticed and went over to one of the tables with Ed. We put our back to Jose's gang.
"Don't call any attention to us, hey mom?"
She nodded and went off to order the ice cream.
"Man, you are going to eat up that little punk tomorrow, right Jose?"
I didn't know who this black kid was, or why he was hanging out with Latinos, but this guy sure had a big mouth.
"No Bobby, ain't going to be nothing like that, its just a friendly competition. We used to be pretty good friends, Rico and I."
I suddenly felt about two inches tall. He went on.
"He's pretty good, if I win tomorrow, its probably just because he doesn't have the time to come down to the arcade like I do."
I stood up to go over and say hi. Why not, he was being so...so...nice.
"You know he tried to beat you the other day," Jimmy went on, "he only got like two million or something like that."
Jose seemed surprised. It must have been news to him. I walked closer.
"Well...that's because he's a stupid punk, mommy's boy!"
I quickly went to my seat and sat back down. I was humiliated, but it would have been a whole lot worse if I had approached them.
"Richard and Eddie, what kind of ice cream did you say I wanted again?"
Parents! We tried to ignore her, but finally she came over and asked us. After telling her we wanted cookie dough, she left again, and Jose made his way over with his posse.
"Well, well, if it isn't Rico and Ed. Or should we say Richard and Ed-die!" Miguel said.
"Oh, uh, hey guys." I managed to spit out. I was horrified. What was I supposed to do now?
"Hey Rico, you ready for our competition tomorrow?" Jose knew that he was going to win, but still even with the hurtful stuff he had said earlier, he didn't rub it in.
Eddie responded faster than I could. "You won't even know what hit ya, Jose!"
"Oh look, he's got somebody to do his talking for him! You little patsy!" Jimmy was about to go on, but apparently realized that he filled the same role for Jose and thought better of it.
"Anyway," Jose pressed on, "I can't wait to see you then. I'm going to enjoy this!"
With that he sped off on his skateboard, Jimmy, Bobby, and Miguel in hot pursuit. He waved back at us once.
I was actually having a really hard time hating the guy. I mean, here he was my main competitor and I should be psyching myself up to beat his brains in Blasteriodz, and I really can't get mad at him. He just had a certain sense about him. He's so...cool.
"Here you go guys! Two cookie doughs for my baby and his friend."
I swear she couldn't get worse timing if she tried.
"Thanks mom," I said dryly.
"Thanks Mrs. Waters," Ed chimed in.
With that we were on our way, and back to the house. I tried to put the whole thing out of my mind, but then I realized, I had only 18 hours left before my social death. My mother went to the backyard to turn on the sprinkler.
"Rico," Ed said to me once we returned to the front doorstep. "You never got around to telling me exactly what your plan was to have a shot at this thing. You know I love ya like a brother, but you don't have any chance at this contest."
"I've got a secret weapon." I replied and with that we went inside to the kitchen.