"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Author's Commentary

Welcome to what will be the first of several commentaries that I will use to keep myself updated after such a long break between chapters as well as provide some insight as to how I decided to work on the story at hand.

This one started as a ten minute exercise one day while in school. Now that three chapters are done, I had to decide if this was going to be a longer piece of fiction or a shorter one. I've thought out the story in my head, and I can see it being ten to twelve chapters total in length. I know where the plot it going as well as what will happen to Rico, Ed, Jose, and Bobby. The other characters are at this point only there to support them. But you never know, a story is a living, breathing thing, in that it usually takes on a life of its own.

I'm trying to "dumb-down" the vocabulary in this story as it were, in that I'm imagining this story being read by a fifth to seventh grade student. The language, while colorful, is never meant to be offensive. The setting is some urban-sprawl with a mixture of white and Latino population. The character of Jose Morales is to provide a foe, or a antagonist as it were to the main character Richard "Rico" Waters. Eddie "Ed" Tremain is the typical best friend for our trusty hero. The person he can talk to and know not to tell others. In sharp contrast to this is the character of his mother. He knows he can trust her with any information he gives her--at least to listen. She will probably say the worst thing at the worst time, as all children feel their parents do. Still, she is his lone guiding figure in the book...At least at this point. The other character of Bobby provides a bit of a clash in that he is the black kid hanging out with the largely Latino population. Richard is the "token white guy", while Bobby is the "token black guy". Yes, bling, bling and all that crap. The character of Jimmy-the-tag-along is there to provide a simple role, the smart alec sidekick, that every big enemy seems to have. Miguel Phillips is a character that will unravel in time.

You may also notice that the story itself is no longer called "One Sitting Story", as I felt it had moved beyond that title. It is now moving onward, and observing the plot, which seems to have three basic part...possibly four, and thinking out the overall ending as it is in my head right now, I decided upon the name "A Loss in the Neighborhood" which was vague enough to make you wonder what it pertains to, yet allows for the larger symbolic meeting.

I hope someone keeps reading...if they do, I'll keep writing. Ah, hell. I'll probably finish it even if no one does read this. My main problem with a story is not knowing what happens in the middle, while in this case I actually have a pretty fluid story going in my head with no real holes.

Until next time,

Cody

"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Chapter Three

Ed made it down to my house around eight pm. Much to my horror while he was making his way over, I found out my mother didn't mean she was serving us ice cream. We were walking there...Together. Sigh.
We were about six blocks from Mr. Dipper's Ice Cream Shack when I finally spoke to Ed.
"You hear?"
""Yeah." Ed looked at me. You don't have a prayer. Look don't get me wrong, I"m on your side, but you gotta save face man, just think what would happen to your already weak reputation!"
I punched him on the shoulder. "What do you mean already weak reputation? When have I ever not done what I said I was going to."
Ed stopped walking, while my mother continued on.
"Well, there was that one time you said you'd jump off the roof last winter and you didn't." I looked at him. "And then you said you'd ride your bike off the ramp we made a couple of months ago and you didn't, but I told everyone you did. And the one time--"
"Okay, I get the point! Geez, Ed." We started walking again.
The problem with having a best friend, was that they knew all about you, even the little things that you didn't want to remember.
"I see your point. Well I did have a plan...if all else fails I did have a back up. Crap."
We were approaching the Ice Cream Shack, and there in front of us were four boys on skateboards. There was Miguel Phillips, Jimmy what's-his face from the Arcade, a large black kid I didn't know and in the front...Jose Morales.
I tried my best to not be noticed and went over to one of the tables with Ed. We put our back to Jose's gang.
"Don't call any attention to us, hey mom?"
She nodded and went off to order the ice cream.
"Man, you are going to eat up that little punk tomorrow, right Jose?"
I didn't know who this black kid was, or why he was hanging out with Latinos, but this guy sure had a big mouth.
"No Bobby, ain't going to be nothing like that, its just a friendly competition. We used to be pretty good friends, Rico and I."
I suddenly felt about two inches tall. He went on.
"He's pretty good, if I win tomorrow, its probably just because he doesn't have the time to come down to the arcade like I do."
I stood up to go over and say hi. Why not, he was being so...so...nice.
"You know he tried to beat you the other day," Jimmy went on, "he only got like two million or something like that."
Jose seemed surprised. It must have been news to him. I walked closer.
"Well...that's because he's a stupid punk, mommy's boy!"
I quickly went to my seat and sat back down. I was humiliated, but it would have been a whole lot worse if I had approached them.
"Richard and Eddie, what kind of ice cream did you say I wanted again?"
Parents! We tried to ignore her, but finally she came over and asked us. After telling her we wanted cookie dough, she left again, and Jose made his way over with his posse.
"Well, well, if it isn't Rico and Ed. Or should we say Richard and Ed-die!" Miguel said.
"Oh, uh, hey guys." I managed to spit out. I was horrified. What was I supposed to do now?
"Hey Rico, you ready for our competition tomorrow?" Jose knew that he was going to win, but still even with the hurtful stuff he had said earlier, he didn't rub it in.
Eddie responded faster than I could. "You won't even know what hit ya, Jose!"
"Oh look, he's got somebody to do his talking for him! You little patsy!" Jimmy was about to go on, but apparently realized that he filled the same role for Jose and thought better of it.
"Anyway," Jose pressed on, "I can't wait to see you then. I'm going to enjoy this!"
With that he sped off on his skateboard, Jimmy, Bobby, and Miguel in hot pursuit. He waved back at us once.
I was actually having a really hard time hating the guy. I mean, here he was my main competitor and I should be psyching myself up to beat his brains in Blasteriodz, and I really can't get mad at him. He just had a certain sense about him. He's so...cool.
"Here you go guys! Two cookie doughs for my baby and his friend."
I swear she couldn't get worse timing if she tried.
"Thanks mom," I said dryly.
"Thanks Mrs. Waters," Ed chimed in.
With that we were on our way, and back to the house. I tried to put the whole thing out of my mind, but then I realized, I had only 18 hours left before my social death. My mother went to the backyard to turn on the sprinkler.
"Rico," Ed said to me once we returned to the front doorstep. "You never got around to telling me exactly what your plan was to have a shot at this thing. You know I love ya like a brother, but you don't have any chance at this contest."
"I've got a secret weapon." I replied and with that we went inside to the kitchen.

"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Chapter Two

That evening at dinner, while my mom was making pasta, I sat at the kitchen table reading through the latest issue of GameWorld. There was an article on how some new game was coming out that was supposed to be like a trillion times better than Blasteroidz.
I sighed heavily.
"Something wrong Richard?"
My mother. God bless her heart. She was the best single mom I knew, and she let me do pretty much whatever I wanted, when I wanted. All I had to do in return was be honest with her about everything going on in my life. Her one fault though was that she continued to call me Richard, even after I had told her time and time again that I preferred to be called Rico. The few times she had called me Richard in front of my pals had taken a long time to iron out.
"Well, I kinda accepted--no, no--made this challenge down at the arcade today."
She turned from her toil of chopping up vegetables and stared at me. "Oh?"
"Yeah, with that one guy, Jose."
"Jose Morales?"
I nodded.
"Yeah...that's the guy. Well anyway, we were both really big on this game Blasteroidz down at the arcade, and then I fell behind him in skill, and now...I just don't know. I'm sure he way better than me."
"Well, I'm sure you'll do fine."
Parents. Sometimes they were frustrating.
"Yeah, that's just it, I know I'll lose, but I got no choice but to play him. Otherwise, I'd be ducking him and everyone will make fun of me."
"Have."
I looked at her blankly.
"You have no choice but to play him."
Again, I love my mom, but her constant lecturing on how she wanted her white son to speak in a neighborhood mixed with latinos was irritating as all get out.
"Whatever, and besides, I"m going to lose big time. If only I could find some kind of edge to let me have a chance."
"Have you asked him if you could get some more practice in?" She had returned to chopping up her vegetables.
"I can't do anything like that. I just need to get better fast...or make him get a whole lot worse."
"Have you talked to Ed about this yet? Maybe he can think of something. Why don't you invite him over tonight and we'll get some ice cream."
Eddie--Ed--Tremain had been my best friend for the last two years. He lived up the road about a mile. It was true, I hadn't thought to consult him yet. Perhaps we could come up with some way to give me an edge.
"Good idea mom, I"ll call him right away!"
As I picked up the phone, I couldn't help but stare at the raw beauty and power of the chopping knife in my mothers hands. Such a tool, such a weapon, such an edge.
"Ed? Yeah, listen, I need to talk to you. Can you come over for ice cream tonight. I have this competition down at the arcade tomorrow and I need some help." I paused, listening. "You can? Okay great. I'll see you tonight. I've got an idea."
"Well, what did he say Richard?"
My gaze was fixated upon the knife. So powerful, so shiny.
"If he can't play he can't win."
"What was that Richard, I couldn't hear you."
"He'll be over tonight for ice cream mom, thanks again. You're the best." I ran off to my room to start formulating my plan.

"A Loss in the Neighborhood" Chapter One

Jose looked at me from across the video arcade. I hadn't seen him in a few weeks, and I was sure that he had been honing his skills on Blasteroidz. It's not that I had been ducking him or anything, it's just that I hadn't had time to practice myself. A public confrontation now would be humiliating as all get out. He moved closer to me.
"Hey, man."
"Hey, Jose. How you been?" I tried to avoid the topic, but my subconscious had other ideas. "Been playing much Blasteroidz?"
"Uh, sure, a little. I haven't had much time, and when I do come here is always such a long line you know?"
I nodded.
"Yeah, Rico, anyway, I was wondering, we going to have that big matchup ever?"
"Sure, sure," I responded quickly. A small crowd had gathered at the mere fact that we had been talking. "Besides, its not like I was ducking you or anything!" That came out a bit more nervous than I had intended.
Jose stared at me intently now. "Yeah, not like you were ducking me or anything."
Another kid, a tag-a-long named Jimmy spoke up. "Hey, ya! you wasn't ducking him or anything was ya?"
The crowd murmured their approval to the comment. I began to hear certain people muttering in the background.
"Yeah, he ain't been coming in lately has he?"
"Way I see it, no one can beat Jose, so why even show up?"
"I know Rico can't, that's for sure."
I had to say something quickly, and it seemed the only thing I could do was to accept the challenge. I didn't know if I had a shot to win or not, but eh, even losing was better than facing the whispering in this crowd. Besides, ducking someone did something to your reputation in this place.
"Yeah...we'll have that big match up. How's tomorrow for ya, Jose?"
"What time?"
"Why you got something better to do? Or are you ducking me now?" I'm not sure where that comment came from, but after hearing the positive reaction from the crowd, I grew more confident.
"Me ducking you? Ha, that's a good one brother. How's three o'clock? I mean, if you don't have to babysit your sister or help your mother with the dishes."
A slight laughter broke out in the crowd.
"Three o'clock is fine. See ya then."
That being set, Jose left the arcade and the crowd dispersed, talking about how badly Jose would destroy me. I pushed many of the kids out of the way and made my way to the Blasteriodz machine. The kids looked at me with wide eyes. A quick glance at the current occupant made him melt away like a popsicle in the sun. The game was mine.
Unfortunately after his ship was destroyed, the game revealed the high scores--all of them Jose's. His top score was slightly over a million. I could top that. I'm sure of it. I began plugging in quarters as if my pockets were a adolescent ATM.
BAM! On my ninth or tenth try, I bested his high score. This was going to be a cakewalk, I thought. I not only beat it, I had a couple hundred thousand to spare. I decided to call it a day, and went towards the door.
Outside of the arcade, I jumped on my bike. I couldn't help but see that smarty Jimmy sitting on a bench talking to some kid I didn't recognize.
"Hey Jimmy, I just nailed Jose's score. Almost a million and a half. Beat it by over two hundred thousand. What do you think of that?"
Jimmy burst into laughter. "A million and a half? I think yous better look at that machine again. Jose's got all the top scores, and all of them are over ten million! A million, ha! We made a blind kid play one day and even he got sixty thousand! Ha, ha, ha!"
My heart sank. It couldn't be. It would make sense, but it couldn't be. I ran back into the arcade and slowed as I reached the machine. The screens were cycling through, showing the game demos and then, the high scores. My name didn't appear anywhere. And after counting digits again, I realized I had no prayer in this competition. Was it possible that Jose had become ten times better than me?
As I reached my bike again, I noticed Jimmy looking at me. At first I wasn't sure what the look meant, but then I realized what it was. I had seen that look before. Pity. He was pitying me.
Hopping on my bike I realized I had two options. Improving quickly so that I had a chance, or...ducking him. This was going to call for something drastic.